Women do not have to follow a man’s dress code.
i feel it i do but rape isn’t caused by a ‘lack of self control’ and suggesting that it is does nothing but justify sexual violence. All abuse/violence is entirely calculated and deliberate, perpetrators are completely in control of their actions.
I hate this argument.
I can’t stand slutwalk, I’m not going to lie.
It’s a lot of things:
The lack of acknowledgment, as Olive says right there, that clothes have nothing to do with it. “Clothes” and “asking for it” are after the fact statements claimed by the defense, they aren’t reasons for rape. Claimed by the defense only in cases where the victim went to the police, was not talked out of reporting or recanting, a valid kit and report was taken, and the DA saw enough of a case to try to prosecute. “Clothes” and “asking for it” are slogans come up with by family and friends to protect themselves from the knowledge that someone they know and care about is a rapist.
Men know this. They rape the fully clothed all the time.
Women know this. Women get raped fully clothed, women get raped at home, women get raped in their families, by their families, by intimate partners far more than by strangers who see a short skirt and think “ah! A defense!”
I’ve been catcalled and threatened as a trans kid in baggy clothes, I’ve been catcalled and threatened in femme lesbian gear. I’ve been assaulted by family, by a friend I let crash at my house, by a guy who let me and my friend crash at his house, and by bouncers at work. What we wear doesn’t matter.
Even the idea of reclaiming slut—look at the women who find it appealing. Women who’ve been threatened with it if they misbehave, but not women who’ve grown up slapped with the word since birth, marked as sexually available through skin colour or class status.
We already know we weren’t asking for it either. We know our slut status is the bedrock for the good middle class white woman to define herself against. Why would we reclaim it? Why reclaim a word that creates a dichotomy? A dichotomy that we will never benefit from?
Slutwalk has no analysis for any of this. In a movement that’s about “dressing slutty” to prove that “no woman asks for rape” there’s no room for acknowledgment or analysis of any of these things: the historical construction of black women’s sexuality to keep white male prerogatives alive and black Americans oppressed, white working women being labelled accessible bc they were forced to leave the home to work and be in public, an automatic loss of chastity.
Slutwalk doesn’t have an analysis for rape and abuse. The claim “no woman is asking for it” elides the fact that “asking for it” is an excuse. Men know that. Abusers are fully in control of their actions. They know to stop just short of causing damage that will incriminate them, they know to pick victims who will never be believed: that’s why most sexual assault occurs in the family or by people you know.
Where is this in slutwalk? Where is this conversation amid the festive and barely dressed attendees? It’s about empowerment, they say, but how and whose?
I know from reading about former slutwalks, from the topless glee of my early dyke marches: the watchers don’t care why you’re topless. The onlookers are stoked by the titillating scene of groups of young women “dressed slutty”. The ostensible point of slutwalk “don’t rape!”, already obfuscated, gets entirely lost in the viewing.